Aging 101

This is a primer I wrote on aging in its first draft.

 

Aging 101

A Primer on Aging

This is a primer on things they've never told you about growing old.  Why, you say, don't they tell the secrets?  Because the young ones don't know them, and the old ones, well... They figure it's better if you find out for yourself. Not all of the things mentioned show up at one time nor does everyone necessarily have them all before they die.  However, I bet if oldsters were honest, they could relate to most of this information. Growing old isn't funny even though you'll hear joking at and from oldsters.  I think sometimes it is just to keep from crying.  So much of life has been lost, gone forever.

I'll take it from the top, maybe jump around a little; but I'll give you some information you may never have heard.  And some of you, may wish you hadn't.  I'll be basing this on the view point of a woman since that is what I know most about.

Hair: Your once shiny, silky hair will turn coarse and frizzy, not to mention the gray or silver highlights.  Not all gray is pretty, so keep this in mind when you criticize an oldster who colors her hair.  Many older women keep their hair short because they can't reach their arms up to take proper care of long hair.

Hair grows in places where it didn't used to be.  Since the eyesight is failing, that hair on the chin can get rather long.  Tweezers work when you can see well enough.  After that, a quick shave, and the troubling hair is gone.

Shaving legs and arms, why the bother?  Nobody cares, and it hurts just too much to get into positions to do a proper job.

Face and Head and Neck: Oh, my, this is a hard one in how to describe it.  Your forehead falls down, and your lips pucker up.  Those furrow lines in the brow do not always mean the person is mad; it's just a result of gravity taking it to the head.  I say the lips pucker which isn't quite right.  The lips disappear almost altogether.  There's only a thin ridge where the lips used to be.  Now you can see why old women have lipstick wider than their lips: because they can't find any lips to put it on.

Oh, and go for the throat!  Sometimes swallowing gets tricky.  I don't know if something down there gets smaller or gets cranky.  You will find yourself choking a lot more often on something that used to go right down.  You'll have to eat more slowly.  I've been fortunate to have my own teeth, but some people lose theirs and have to get false ones.  That comes with its own set of complications.

Age spots appear.  Is it one for each decade?  Without makeup, it looks like your face is dirty.

Wrinkles, you have them pretty much everywhere; but on the face is the most recognizable.  They make ridges and ruts deeper than you would think possible on a once smooth face.

Headaches come often as does pain in the neck.

Not everyone has a real double chin; some just have one which is wobblier and longer.

Eyes and Nose and Ears:  Each of these has their own particular aging symptoms.  None of them continue to work like they did before.  Your eyesight weakens, and you'll probably need glasses.  But there are some other strange things to look out for.  Floaters and lightening are two of the most popular.  Floaters are little black ragged dots which flit before your eyes.  You take your hand to swish the bug away, and nothing is there.  You think you're going crazy, and you might be; but the more likely option is that your eyes have these little black dots in them.  I don't remember the medical explanation, but the young eye doctor says not to worry it happens to all of us.  Not worry - wait until he gets them. 

The "lightning strikes" are a bit more frightening.  You are out one evening and dim and dark.  Out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash.  You look where it came from and nothing is there.  If you happen to have a porch light on with bugs flying round, you assume it was the bugs dashing in front of the light and making it seem to flicker.  You'll accept this explanation a time or two, and then you'll worry again that there is something wrong with your mind.  No, it's just another symptom of aging eyes. It can be a serious condition, so it is worth checking it out with an eye doctor; but usually it's just one more thing to live with.  They diminish some after they start.

You won't smell things as well.  I have no idea why.  I guess the nose is tired of all the things its had to put up with over time.

Hearing will diminish in most people.  They will play the radio louder and not answer when you speak to them from far away.  Maybe they are just trying to block you out, but more likely they just don't hear as well anymore.  This can certainly affect relationships if it is not discussed and understood. 

Arms and Elbows and Wrists and Hands: These extremities have done a lot of work over the years, and they are seeking retirement.  Arms won't reach up as far and if they do there is pain.  Arms won't extend outward for long; too hard to maintain.  Elbows ache greatly and refuse to bend.  Wrists get carpal tunnel, a real painful mess.  It keeps you from doing a lot of things you used to be able to do.  Like lifting a full pan off the stove.  Fingers and hands get cramped and stiff, bent and deformed from arthritic conditions.  The backs of your hands get shinny and wrinkled.

Skin all over gets very thin, but it is most noticeable on the arms.  That's because it is more exposed to the elements.  What would have been a slight bruise in the past becomes a bleeding wound.  Bruises are huge when they happen.

Legs and Ankles and Feet and Toes: These extremities have covered a lot of miles, and they want to join the arms in more sedentary lifestyle.  They hurt and they tell you about it.
Charlie Horses, leg cramps, toe cramps, calf cramps – anything that will cramp usually does often.  Feet deform as do the toenails.  Why, I don't know.  I guess just from all the pressure.  And worst of all, the feet don't rise like they used to.  You can trip over the slightest thing, and your legs won't help you push back up from the ground.  They are weakened. You then have to use your hands and that makes your wrists hurt.  Much more to say, but I'll leave it for now.

Torso:  Depending on your body style – thin, just right, or fat; there will be things you battle as your body ages.  Fat is actually the worst from a standpoint of getting around.  Too many extra pounds to carry on a weakened structure.

Private Parts: Some sag, some dry up, others have to be removed.  Some don't let things out; others won't keep things in.  Pooping and peeing become major events either from the expectation or the sudden reality or the constancy.  Don't take a long trip.  Keep extra underwear close at hand.

The Mind:  I've left this for about last because it is the most traumatic when it no longer works as it used to.  Not remembering is not a joke and can be dangerous.  Leave a stove on and forget it.  Let the dog out into the heat and forget her.  Sometimes it is just annoying as your forget a process and have to repeat a recipe because you left something out.  At other times, you just sit down and cry because you can't figure out how to keep it from happening over and over.  You laugh in public, but inside your heart is breaking hoping no one will know how really bad it is.

It takes much longer to get things done because you have to process them slowly and consider each piece.  Before you might have raced through a well known project without even looking at directions.  Now, you look at directions and still get it wrong.

If you don't have a schedule and stick to it, you can get stressed and frustrated because you can't seem to prioritize like you once did.  A list is important, but you have to hang onto it and keep your lists in the same place always.  Resist that thought to move it somewhere else.  You'll regret it.

You end up crying because your mind is not sharp like it once was.  Tears are pretty much the same at whatever age; they came with sadness.

Overall System:  Aging brings with an instant package of tiredness - a fatigue not always remedied by sleep.  Sleep in the night time gets rarer and rarer as the aches and pains keep you awake.  Day time naps are not an option, but a necessity of life.  Joints stiffen in places you didn't know had joints, and aches occur without your knowing why.

There are all kinds of disorders, diseases, and conditions which afflict the oldster which never seemed to come calling when you were young.  Your bones will break easier and falls will come more often.  If you get a bladder infection, they may think you are senile.  I don't know why that is, but it's been medically documented.  In old age, a bladder infection presents in that way.

The Spirit: This is the only thing which never ages. It matures with growth, but does not grow old.  It is difficult to remember, this is what lasts forever in the midst of the decay of all the rest.

Aging 101 – First Draft